Friday, September 3, 2010

MORE

Well it has certainly been a long while since I have written and yet I love to write.
However for the past little while I have been pre-occupied and bound within my own thoughts,seraching to hear from God or better yet trying to hear even more than what I think I am hearing forgetting to just rest in Him.
I have been reading books listening to the radio watching tv going to a conference,praying and having conversations with God daily.
Notice the key words in that sentence was I HAVE
Now not to say that what I have been doing is detrimental as I have learned many things, however I want and need more.
I thirst daily and can't seem to quench the dryness that is in my life.
Last night I decided to go to corporate prayer wanting and needing a quiet place with others that understand the deep love of God and that would leave me alone in my thoughts.
What I got was frustration with the noise
What I got was a stronger desire to hear God with the condition He would shut everyone else up so I could hear Him.
Ya not happening
but still I was determined I was going to hear if it killed me.
So I tried to worship but the focus was so much on me the desire for more became frustrating.
However God works in amazing ways
I heard from God even when I didn't think I was.
Scriptures came popping into my head,so I looked them up and wrote them down.
When all was said and done and no more came to mind and my frustration was growing MORE intense
Barry spoke over me and said
"Your nickname is Mo but I see other letters The Lord is telling me you are MORE
More than what you think you are
More than what others see you as
More to me than what you know
and you will be thirsting for more daily and the more you drink of Me the more you will want"
He saw me dancing in a frilly white dress with the Lord I was a princess all sparkley and pretty.He began to laugh. Not quite sure if he was just filled with the spirit or if he was seeing what I was seeing
Me in a white frilly dress.Too funny!
No matter the main thing is I was dancing with the Lord and at that moment my heart was like the Grinch and grew so large in my chest I thought I was going to burst.
It was then the Lord told me He was right hear with me talking to me but I had to hear Him with not my ears but my heart. He told me to re-read the scriptures I had written.
The tears flowed as separately they were words and promises but together they were my thoughts and my story of late with His promise among them.
Here is what He showed me our converstions have been in one long sentence.(separate scriptures)

"You will joyfully draw water from springs of salvation".
I said to myself,Go ahead,I will test you with pleasure and enjoy what is good."But it turned out to be futile"
STOP (your fighting) and know that I AM GOD exalted among the nations,exalted on earth.Consider ships,though very large and driven by fierce winds,they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.
Although I once had confidence in the flesh too.If anyone else thinks he has grounds for confidence in the flesh I have more.
Not that I have already reached (the goal) or am already,fully mature but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.

So my lesson here was to Stop
Stop thinking
Stop forcing
Just Stop and rest in Him

When you think your prayers are never going to be answered and the frustration of trying to hear Him is exhausting and the mind will not stop running the Lord is right there saying
Hello I am right here .... No not there..... STOP.... ok now look within.....You got it there I AM..... now sit down get comfortable and just relax and rest in Me...... Ok now what do you want to talk about today?


I want to talk about More of you Lord and less of me


Thursday, June 3, 2010

Pay it Forward in Faith Regardless of Fear

Some things I have been pondering
Stepping out completely in faith.
Obedience
and the dreaded fear that sometimes seems more powerful than faith.
I haven't written in a while
sometimes it's a fear of not being elloquent enough
but today I am moved and it really doesn't matter if this post is elloquent enough for the reader.
It is out of obedience with no fear and it's covered with many blessings to you the reader.
So for some of us the fear of praying over someone outloud because of the lack of experience or the lack of really good Godly words to impress can be worrisome.
It doesn't matter what it sounds like as long as it's from the heart.
A prayer or a simple Blessing to someone can change ones life attitude or be an answere to their prayers.

On our anniversary I went to pick up chinese food downtown and passed a woman sitting begging on the street.
We have all seen her many times and she can be rather scary
Her face scratched and cut from her obsessive behaviour,the knowledge that she has Hep C and the fact she never seems to make an effort to clean up.
Regardless she is a child of God.
As I passed I cringed and a moment of fear condemnation and judgement came into my heart.
when returning to my car I was overcome with guilt that I was eating and she wasn't but kept walking anyway.
As I opened the car door I was consumed with the Lord saying this is my child your sister and I began to tear up and ask for forgiveness.
I was fearful but for a moment and then stepped boldly out and went back to her.
She sheepishly looked up at me and low growl came from deep within and I bent down and prayed over her.
It was the look in her eyes distant but there
It was Hope
She smiled slightly and said these words.
"God Bless you too and Thank you for being kind and generous to me not very many people are"
This has been going over and over in my head and yet I move on in my selfish ways of fear.
I have been struggling alot lately thanking God for this trial and telling Him I am looking forward to all that He is teaching me although not sure what it is.
Today it was confirmed
The simple act of Blessing someone just because you can and because He wants you to.
I received a phone call but a moment ago from a man in our church.
We know each other enough to say hello
I hear him many times during the service
praising God outloud
He called because I must have been on his heart for some reason and to tell me that I am a blessing and that I am loved.
He stepped out fearless and faithful
to bless me
I am truly Blessed with my brothers obedience but also from our Fathers Patience Grace Mercy and most of all
 His Love while teaching me with His gentle hand.

Be Fearless and Faithful in God
and
Bless someone today
this simple act can truly change ones life
I am living proof of that.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Just had to post this

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Clinging to my Faith

This weekend I haven't been questioning my faith but holding on to it tightly.
The recent events that have plague our community has gotten to me.
Missing persons
Murder 4 within the last month
What is happening?
The recent deaths of this past weekend have hit home.
Tracey Hannah and her daughter Whitney,Shannon still in serious condition clinging to life.
Tracey and I went to school together.
Were we close friends No
but our lives did cross paths.
We were in the same classes together
we went to the same parties in Highschool
and her eldest daughter Jamie-Lynne and my youngest son Dave went to school together.
Last month I saw her and we laughed and joked about all the bush parties we went to and how we were getting older and how we couldn't believe our kids have grown so much. We talked about makeup for Whitney for her grade 8 grad and finished with a we should get together for a coffee sometime.
How many times have we said those words never to follow up.

Now I never knew Traceys Married name. My son said I knew her but I just couldn't place Tracey Hannah in my mind,It hit me Friday that could this be Tracey Urch.
Nope couldn't be I was just talking to her.
It was confirmed for me today when they posted her picture on the news.
My heart sank even farther then it had prior to that moment of reality.
Reality
That is when clinging to my faith was the most important thing.
Yes I have questions
Typical ones like Why Lord
or  Did you know this is how she would die when you created her?
"For I know the plans I have for you"
Does it include this?
Did it include the young woman hiding in the closet?
Praise God in the Highest for that!
I am reflecting on the Friday this all happened and the conversation that took place in the staff room.
One Christian believing in Capital punishment and becoming so intensely upset about this.
Then there was the non christian saying but what about his rights.
Then there was me praying fervourishly in my head to say the right thing.
Speaking about justice will be served and that even the young man is Gods child.
That God will discipline him beit life in jail but will also be patient for his repentance.
Grace and Mercy
Then I ended this with I say this now because stuff like this hasn't hit close to home.
My flesh feels one way but my spirit feels another way and I needed to concentrate on my spirit not my flesh.
Needless to say
WHAM this morning it hit close to home.
So I am battling the anger (Not with God) of the flesh and clinging to the tiniest of mustard seed that God so lovingly placed in my heart so very long ago.
This mustard seed will be my rock in days to come when the conversations get heated in this city.
I emplore all of you to cling tightly to the slightest bit of faith when things get tough in our lives and God will bring us through it triumphantly.
I know it and feel it and most of believe it that God will bring good out of all that has been happening in this city.
I trust my Father and praise Him for giving me but a moment to know such a lovely young woman.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

For Nana Cheryl September 2011

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I am A Wife A mother of 3 A grandmother of 3 But most importantly A child of God