Friday, September 3, 2010


Well it has certainly been a long while since I have written and yet I love to write.
However for the past little while I have been pre-occupied and bound within my own thoughts,seraching to hear from God or better yet trying to hear even more than what I think I am hearing forgetting to just rest in Him.
I have been reading books listening to the radio watching tv going to a conference,praying and having conversations with God daily.
Notice the key words in that sentence was I HAVE
Now not to say that what I have been doing is detrimental as I have learned many things, however I want and need more.
I thirst daily and can't seem to quench the dryness that is in my life.
Last night I decided to go to corporate prayer wanting and needing a quiet place with others that understand the deep love of God and that would leave me alone in my thoughts.
What I got was frustration with the noise
What I got was a stronger desire to hear God with the condition He would shut everyone else up so I could hear Him.
Ya not happening
but still I was determined I was going to hear if it killed me.
So I tried to worship but the focus was so much on me the desire for more became frustrating.
However God works in amazing ways
I heard from God even when I didn't think I was.
Scriptures came popping into my head,so I looked them up and wrote them down.
When all was said and done and no more came to mind and my frustration was growing MORE intense
Barry spoke over me and said
"Your nickname is Mo but I see other letters The Lord is telling me you are MORE
More than what you think you are
More than what others see you as
More to me than what you know
and you will be thirsting for more daily and the more you drink of Me the more you will want"
He saw me dancing in a frilly white dress with the Lord I was a princess all sparkley and pretty.He began to laugh. Not quite sure if he was just filled with the spirit or if he was seeing what I was seeing
Me in a white frilly dress.Too funny!
No matter the main thing is I was dancing with the Lord and at that moment my heart was like the Grinch and grew so large in my chest I thought I was going to burst.
It was then the Lord told me He was right hear with me talking to me but I had to hear Him with not my ears but my heart. He told me to re-read the scriptures I had written.
The tears flowed as separately they were words and promises but together they were my thoughts and my story of late with His promise among them.
Here is what He showed me our converstions have been in one long sentence.(separate scriptures)

"You will joyfully draw water from springs of salvation".
I said to myself,Go ahead,I will test you with pleasure and enjoy what is good."But it turned out to be futile"
STOP (your fighting) and know that I AM GOD exalted among the nations,exalted on earth.Consider ships,though very large and driven by fierce winds,they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.
Although I once had confidence in the flesh too.If anyone else thinks he has grounds for confidence in the flesh I have more.
Not that I have already reached (the goal) or am already,fully mature but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.

So my lesson here was to Stop
Stop thinking
Stop forcing
Just Stop and rest in Him

When you think your prayers are never going to be answered and the frustration of trying to hear Him is exhausting and the mind will not stop running the Lord is right there saying
Hello I am right here .... No not there..... STOP.... ok now look within.....You got it there I AM..... now sit down get comfortable and just relax and rest in Me...... Ok now what do you want to talk about today?

I want to talk about More of you Lord and less of me

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Pay it Forward in Faith Regardless of Fear

Some things I have been pondering
Stepping out completely in faith.
and the dreaded fear that sometimes seems more powerful than faith.
I haven't written in a while
sometimes it's a fear of not being elloquent enough
but today I am moved and it really doesn't matter if this post is elloquent enough for the reader.
It is out of obedience with no fear and it's covered with many blessings to you the reader.
So for some of us the fear of praying over someone outloud because of the lack of experience or the lack of really good Godly words to impress can be worrisome.
It doesn't matter what it sounds like as long as it's from the heart.
A prayer or a simple Blessing to someone can change ones life attitude or be an answere to their prayers.

On our anniversary I went to pick up chinese food downtown and passed a woman sitting begging on the street.
We have all seen her many times and she can be rather scary
Her face scratched and cut from her obsessive behaviour,the knowledge that she has Hep C and the fact she never seems to make an effort to clean up.
Regardless she is a child of God.
As I passed I cringed and a moment of fear condemnation and judgement came into my heart.
when returning to my car I was overcome with guilt that I was eating and she wasn't but kept walking anyway.
As I opened the car door I was consumed with the Lord saying this is my child your sister and I began to tear up and ask for forgiveness.
I was fearful but for a moment and then stepped boldly out and went back to her.
She sheepishly looked up at me and low growl came from deep within and I bent down and prayed over her.
It was the look in her eyes distant but there
It was Hope
She smiled slightly and said these words.
"God Bless you too and Thank you for being kind and generous to me not very many people are"
This has been going over and over in my head and yet I move on in my selfish ways of fear.
I have been struggling alot lately thanking God for this trial and telling Him I am looking forward to all that He is teaching me although not sure what it is.
Today it was confirmed
The simple act of Blessing someone just because you can and because He wants you to.
I received a phone call but a moment ago from a man in our church.
We know each other enough to say hello
I hear him many times during the service
praising God outloud
He called because I must have been on his heart for some reason and to tell me that I am a blessing and that I am loved.
He stepped out fearless and faithful
to bless me
I am truly Blessed with my brothers obedience but also from our Fathers Patience Grace Mercy and most of all
 His Love while teaching me with His gentle hand.

Be Fearless and Faithful in God
Bless someone today
this simple act can truly change ones life
I am living proof of that.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Just had to post this

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Clinging to my Faith

This weekend I haven't been questioning my faith but holding on to it tightly.
The recent events that have plague our community has gotten to me.
Missing persons
Murder 4 within the last month
What is happening?
The recent deaths of this past weekend have hit home.
Tracey Hannah and her daughter Whitney,Shannon still in serious condition clinging to life.
Tracey and I went to school together.
Were we close friends No
but our lives did cross paths.
We were in the same classes together
we went to the same parties in Highschool
and her eldest daughter Jamie-Lynne and my youngest son Dave went to school together.
Last month I saw her and we laughed and joked about all the bush parties we went to and how we were getting older and how we couldn't believe our kids have grown so much. We talked about makeup for Whitney for her grade 8 grad and finished with a we should get together for a coffee sometime.
How many times have we said those words never to follow up.

Now I never knew Traceys Married name. My son said I knew her but I just couldn't place Tracey Hannah in my mind,It hit me Friday that could this be Tracey Urch.
Nope couldn't be I was just talking to her.
It was confirmed for me today when they posted her picture on the news.
My heart sank even farther then it had prior to that moment of reality.
That is when clinging to my faith was the most important thing.
Yes I have questions
Typical ones like Why Lord
or  Did you know this is how she would die when you created her?
"For I know the plans I have for you"
Does it include this?
Did it include the young woman hiding in the closet?
Praise God in the Highest for that!
I am reflecting on the Friday this all happened and the conversation that took place in the staff room.
One Christian believing in Capital punishment and becoming so intensely upset about this.
Then there was the non christian saying but what about his rights.
Then there was me praying fervourishly in my head to say the right thing.
Speaking about justice will be served and that even the young man is Gods child.
That God will discipline him beit life in jail but will also be patient for his repentance.
Grace and Mercy
Then I ended this with I say this now because stuff like this hasn't hit close to home.
My flesh feels one way but my spirit feels another way and I needed to concentrate on my spirit not my flesh.
Needless to say
WHAM this morning it hit close to home.
So I am battling the anger (Not with God) of the flesh and clinging to the tiniest of mustard seed that God so lovingly placed in my heart so very long ago.
This mustard seed will be my rock in days to come when the conversations get heated in this city.
I emplore all of you to cling tightly to the slightest bit of faith when things get tough in our lives and God will bring us through it triumphantly.
I know it and feel it and most of believe it that God will bring good out of all that has been happening in this city.
I trust my Father and praise Him for giving me but a moment to know such a lovely young woman.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

For Nana Cheryl September 2011

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Most Difficult Change Dying to Ourselves

In my last post Joyce spoke about change. This has been playing on my heart quite a bit lately.
I am always praying that the people in my life would change their ways.
Desiring them to pick up and get moving forward.
Wanting them to stop wallowing in their situations using it as an excuse to stay where they are.Accepting secular counsel be it from a therapist or a doctor or even a friend as a be all end all answere.This is the way it is accept it,and try and live your life within your "OWN" means.
Do not accept this. Do not let the world dictate what is or what is not.
Believe in the only One who knows the plans He has for you.
My guess is it's not sitting on your ass waiting for blessings to just be handed out to you because you Believe in Him.
We must have complete faith in His healing from whatever is ailing us,beit laziness,sickness,pride,financial issues and the list can go on and on depending on our lives.
It's time for us to Die.
Die to ourselves our flesh and start living the life He has given us.
We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
Ok we can say that over and over again and believe it with all our hearts but are we living it.
I know I'm not.
Truth be known I love watching Joyce, I love taking the ISOM course and I love the lessons from our Pastors on Sunday mornings.
My confession I am lazy when it comes to reading the word.I do but not daily or dilligently.
Why because I have allowed others to do it for me.
Yes I am learning but how much more or closer to God will I become when I hear it from the source Himself.
I have changed alot of my ways but this is one I tend to hold on to.
I have been blessed with His grace in this matter and I know He will never forsake me, but it's time for me to die to that one aspect in my life that is holding His plan back.
After all he died for us. What a sacrifice of true love.
The Lord has really been showing me images of the hungry.
Man cannot live by bread alone.
Oh that must mean get out there and help the poor.
Nope this was about me.
God is the greatest! Amen!
I am really hungry and yet I supress my hunger by holding on to the last piece of me that needs to die.Laziness Fear of what I could be in Him.
Proverbs 6: 6-11 was playing on my heart this morning not only for me but for others in this world.
So today I choose to die to myself and walk with the utmost of faith and I believe it is then and only then His plan for me can be fulfilled.

So Long Self it's been fun but........

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Felt the need to post this

Choosing to Change

by Joyce Meyer

How serious are you about wanting change in your life? A lot of us want our lives to change…but we’re not willing to do our part.

If you really want things to change in your life—and experience the fullness of the life Jesus died to give you—here are some things that you need to do.

Spend Time with God

First, examine your priorities and see what needs to change. You can’t think spending 45 minutes or an hour in church on Sunday mornings is all you need to live in victory. Since the devil is alive and well every day, then you need a daily walk with God.

The wonderful thing is, there’s no formula. You can just be with Him. Pray, laugh, cry, talk or sit still and not open your mouth. It’s that easy.

Stand Up on the Inside

Next, you need to get serious about changing your life. Every one of us has an outer life and an inner life. Many of us want our outside circumstance to change while we stay depressed on the inside. But before you can get up on the outside, you have to get up on the inside.

You may have a circumstance in your life right now where you feel like you have no choice but to sit down. If that’s the case, tell yourself you’re going to stay enthusiastic, passionate, stirred up, excited, positive, and full of hope and faith on the inside. Make up your mind that you’re never going to quit.

Get Up and Clean Up!

In John 5 there’s a story about a man who I believe represents a lot of people who refuse to change.
During a Jewish feast in Jerusalem, Jesus visited the Bethesda pool where sick people gathered, hoping to get healed. One of the people waiting to get healed was a man who had been crippled for 38 years. When Jesus saw him, He asked if he wanted to be healed.
To me, the man’s answer tells us why he hadn’t been healed in 38 years. He said, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred.” Bottom line, the man had avoided responsibility.

His second problem was that he blamed others. The man said, “While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

How did Jesus respond? Jesus didn’t feel sorry for him. Instead, Jesus said, rather sternly, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” In other words, stop being lazy and get on with your life.

For change to occur in your life, it’s not only important that you stop being a prisoner of your circumstances. You also have to choose to become a prisoner of hope. This means being a person who cannot get away from hope. If you’ll do this, you’ll receive double of anything that’s taken away from you. That’s a promise from God.

Never Give Up!

It was a special day in my life when I realized I didn’t have to give up; I could have hope in the worst circumstances. Regardless of what the situation looks like, I believe that God can give me a breakthrough.

We all want instantaneous breakthrough, but it’s going to take time. And you may go through long periods, even years, feeling like you haven’t made any progress at all, but you have.

Most of the time change occurs daily in little increments that you don’t even notice. But if you’ll just look back after a year or two, you’ll realize that things in your life have changed.

No matter what your circumstance or situation is, you can choose to change. You can choose to hope. You can choose to never give up. You can choose to experience the life Jesus died to give you. Now get up and go!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Only Your Best Friend Can Do This

Monday, February 1, 2010

For I Know The Plans I Have For You

Tonight on my way home from my ISOM class at the church I started to reflect on my life growing up.
I began to think about what a rebel I was against the church and it's doctrine.
I would challenge anyone with statements like
Proove it!
followed by statements like What a bunch of Hypocrits
You see that's what I saw as a child.The religiosity,the legalism of man.
I once saw a man kicked out of church because of what he was wearing (The 70's) I was 10 years old and refused to go back to church unless I was made to like Christmas or Easter and even then I grumbled and despised the men who were leading the service.
I then began to think of the children of the church and began to pray that we as Junior High Leaders are instilling the love of God as your friend,mentor and Father.
That Christainity is a relationship with God
My thoughts then lead to the most simplest of prayers
and I began to sing and once again reflect on the moment I reached out and was Saved.
I remember the first time I asked Jesus to be a part of my life. I had the most icredible rush run through my body and was joyful beyond description,but what I didn't know then at age 23 was there was work to be done. I was Saved and my name was in The Book of Lambs and that was that,I could still lead the life I was leading.
Yesterday Today and Tomorrow has come to my heart tonight and I am praising God for hearing my prayer from 5 years ago Help Save Me! I want You in my life,but most of all being patient and loving me for 19 years while I wandered, sort of believed and sinned alot until I was broken.
That is when my cry for help was real and He knew it and only then did he pick me up dust me off and hug me so tight that I couldn't help but feel His presence.
Oh we all know He was there all those years but stubborness and pride Feels No Love
His timing is always perfect and for 19 years He waited patiently for one simple word

Note: Who knew this song would ever have a deeper meaning today in my life than when I was just tapping my toes to a catchie little tune

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Who's 6 Today?

 Who's 6 today?
"Me Grandma,Myer"!

I have a cupcake Cake from Deweys

I like the chocolate ones the best Grandma!

I can sing Myley Cyrus Grandma Watch me!

 Uncle Dave gives the best Birthday hugs

Steve and I are so Blessed
What a fun evening we had.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Where Is God?

Well that was the question that was asked to me
"The Christian"
when Haiti was destroyed with the devasting earthquake
My answere was right there amongst the destruction holding on to His beloved children.
the more I have been thinking about this
this thought came to mind.
Where are we?
I don't mean in Haiti
God is with us all the time wether we feel Him or not
that is what I call a true friend
but where are we as His friend?
Do we give Him the the time and effort that he gives us 24/7?
Is this a one sided relationship where one wants and takes then complains when things don't go the way we want it to?
Oh sure we are thankful when we are blessed but are we thankful when we are not or when times are rough?
Have you ever asked God how He was doing?
I am sure that sounds quite flippant
but lets just think about this for but a moment.
Have you ever had a friend that never seems to ask you how you are doing?
but always wants to share their joys or misery with you.
or better yet sucks the life out of you with their needs.
Please don't misunderstand what I am saying here.
Worshipping our Father and praising Him is a delight to His heart
but with the question posed to me I am reflecting more on what I am giving back as His child and friend.
Perhaps just asking God how His day was will reveal a deeper hearing of His voice within
Here I am Lord
Your friend
and despite the disbelief and anger in this world towards you I want to give back to you
by asking what can I do for you,my friend?
I hope that you have a had a wonderful and Blessed day
and am looking forward to introducing you,My Best Friend
to all those around me.
Talk to you tomorrow
Love you

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Heart Check 101 PT2

God has been showing me so much over the past few days.
His love is never ending.
Giving us His only Son ,so that we may live
I mean really try to put yourself in His shoes.
This selfless loving amazing sacrifice just for us.
For us, the some times, self absorbed self righteous sinners.
Does this not blow your mind when you really sit and contemplate this.
His grace and mercy never changes even if we do
I love that He didn't force us to love Him
but that
He gave us the free will to choose to Love Him
and even for those who choose not to
He loves them as equally as He loves those who do
He never changes
He never gives up on the lost
God you're still You
We are so Blessed to have such love in our lives

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Heart Check 101

I enjoy giving
I also enjoy receiving
but what is more important?

If I give and don't receive and am dissapointed was I really giving out of love?
Was there motive behind the kind gesture?

Have we given our life over to Jesus because we are promised eternal life?
Is that our only motivation for doing this?

Do we do good works to receive a better or bigger piece of heaven?
Is that our only motivation?

We will be rewarded according to our works. Revelation 22:12
Rewards will be based on our faithfulness to what God has called us to do.


An elderly man walks into a villiage
There he discovers the whole villiage has gathered in it's center listening to a young man speak.
This man was beautiful, and strong.
The young man was telling the villiage that he had the most beautiful heart in the world.
It was pink and pumping the brightest red blood throughout his perfect body,not a flaw to be found in it.
As the elderly man heard this he exclaimed
" Young man I beg to differ I have the most beautiful heart"
the crowd laughed at the old man,but the old man stood his ground.
"Old man you are old and weary and out of breath, this shows the sign of an old  worn out heart"
"Young man I will prove that I have the most beautiful of hearts"
With that being said the old man took his shirt off and ripped open his chest exposing the heart that lie within.
It was pink in places,  and there were holes and chunks of different sizes filling those holes. The heart was mishaped and grotesque to look at.
The crowd began to laugh
The young man then took his shirt off and ripped his chest open and the crowd was in awe by the pinkest most flawless beautiful heart they have ever seen.
" Old man look at my heart can you see the difference between yours and mine?"
"Yes said the old man I can, but mine is still more beautiful than yours"
"How is that replied the young man"
"See these scars,these are scars of my past sins cut out by God and sewn up by His forgiveness, These holes are where I have given my love to others and they in turn did not give me theirs back,the mishaped chunks are pieces of anothers love that they have freely given.
With that being said the old man grasped his heart and tore a chunk of pink flesh out and offered it to the young man.
"May the love of God be with you"
as the young man reached out and received  this precious gift,he fell to his knees and looking up he reached into his chest and tore out a chunk and replied
"and also with you"

This story came to mind as I was pondering why we choose to follow God.
How many times have we hurt God and yet He still gives us his heart unconditionally for the taking.
Even if we reject His love He still pours it into our lives.

There is no motive behind His love
He just loves
How incredible is that?

Why is it that we know this and yet we don't always give our love freely to family,friends,strangers?
I desire change for this world
How do I make an impact if only small?
By checking my heart daily, if there is motive in all that I do or say to gain personally then I am choosing not to do it.
I have decided to just love and be obedient to Glorify God
There is no motive behind that as I already have all that I need and want
Unconditional love from my Father could there be a better reward than that?
I think not!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Dog Day Afternoon

Sunday Football
a time to relax and enjoy the games.
I am banished to the front living room
(asking questions during the game constitutes the penalty box)
Oh Wait! That's hockey
I was ousted out of "The Club"
Can two people be considered a club?
I ask
Ohhhhh I get it now
Always did 
(wink wink)
It's the simple pleasures in life that amuse me
So as usual I am free to make a few phone calls then have an afternoon snooze
and I woke up to see this
Apparently during half time the boys went for a walk in the field and it was too cold for one of them.
Such a big boy
and Steves big sucky baby
Daddy I'm cold and tired.
Poor Mr. Shivers
aka Reginald

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I am A Wife A mother of 3 A grandmother of 3 But most importantly A child of God