Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hands of God

A new year is about to begin and over this past month the Lord truly has been trying to show me something.
The key word is trying as I have been questioning as apposed to listening.
You know what I mean? Those unsure moments and
alot of Ya but's and what if's and Really?
My way is better for me but is it better for Him?
There are things that "I" have really wanted that are not going to come to pass this year.
Uganda being one of those "I wants"
Finding this reality hard to swallow and yet knowing in my heart it is not His timing.
I am glad God understands my dissapointment and holds me close when I cry at night.
I am glad He comforts me when I feel this is of my own doing and the guilt rises up and consumes my heart.
This year is now coming to an end and He has shown me that I am needed elsewhere.
Where and what is the question we all ask
but it is not the right question.
The question we should be asking is How may I be of service?
The answere was (for me) clean out His temple.
My body being His temple to dwell in.
This was also my answere to why my desires have been put on hold.
I am not healthy enough physically.
I have surgery coming up in February that will strengthen my body.
I am not spiritually ready for His tasks.
This year is a year for healing and spreading Peace among us.
Starting in our own backyards.
My backyard needs to be well manicured and all the weeds of dissapointment envy regret and holding grudges must be pulled from the muck and mire that has bogged down my heart these past few years.
The Lord has given me the tools to maintain His garden.
I've never been a gardener nor have I enjoyed it,although I do enjoy the benefits and beauty of a well taken care of garden.
Selfishness. You work I reap the benefits.
I am now looking forward to the joy of working His garden selflessly with our hands clasped together side by side.
I anticipate the beauty of this new year and all it holds for those I love.
For I am Gods hands
I am Gods eyes.
His will be done.
Not mine.
How He puts up with me sometimes?
God Only Knows.....

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I am A Wife A mother of 3 A grandmother of 3 But most importantly A child of God